dear future self,
as every step takes you through new doorways, you will exemplify the radiance and confidence that i stride towards every day. when the time comes to unpack your independence, you will remember to look up and compliment your roommate’s eyes. you will push past the walls in your mind and stretch your circle, keep truth clutched against your chest, chase compelling opportunities into territories unknown. trust in your ability to rise from the depths, and do not be afraid to dive headfirst into the water. introduce yourself to your professors and thank them for their lessons. wearing warm socks and an even warmer smile, go to their office hours. listen to their stories. one day, you will find yourself siting in the intersection of your fear and your future. keep your head up and keep moving forward. find this letter tucked away in your planner. you are allowed to look back and smile. take a deep breath and a sip of cocoa while you trace with your fingertips the tools that will help you pave your way into the world. do not wait until the last minute to do laundry, and never take your education for granted. your grandparents crossed an ocean for you. your parents saved their paychecks for you. the teachers who taught you to count are now counting on you. always do your best. it is enough. everyone says that college is what you make of it, and sometimes it is okay to listen to everyone. you deserve to enjoy it. sincerely, senior year
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the assignments are submitted. school is dismissed. exhaling slowly i close the grade book and put down the calculator. unclench my fists. release the stress. the anger. the grief. my drivers license in one hand. the other is open for handshakes and high fives. for patting people on the back and dogs on the head. i exist now in the peace after the destruction. after wilted smiles, drowned eyes, quaking hands, fiery tongues. no longer is my mind a weapon. nor my body a battleground. softness becomes my strength. the journey has been difficult, and it is not over yet. but look: the love in this light. what is sprouting from the dirt. from sunshine and fresh air and water, and even in rain and thunder. i keep going. i keep growing.
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